The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
-Feist
Grins*
I had to step back and actually assess the situation with eyes outside of the context of my heart. I'm comfortable with my decision now, and not straining like an addict just out of reach from her fix.
(Anymore. LOL)
Peace out, Kryptonite, it's been real.
As juvenile as it seems, I had to do what I had to do. I deleted his number from the phone, took him off of my buddy list, and I'm hovering over his existance on my friends lists on various social networks. It's not like he was injecting himself into every vein of my reality or anything; in fact it was the exact opposite -- he withdrew. He's omnipresent because I subconsciously search for him wherever I go.
I do that because I kept finding him. How many times has my heart twitched a second before I looked up to see a familiar baseball cap floating up a flight of stairs? How many times have I been walking by myself, mulling over the idea of calling him and ultimately deciding not to, just to have his car screech to a sudden stop beside me on the street? Wierd shit like that went on for a few years. Fate kept throwing us together, so I came to keep an eye out for his presence. More often than not, my heart recognizes him before I do. That shit doesn't help.
*erase erase erase*
Thank you, Karma, for this experience. It was the catalyst to a lot of revelations and changes, and it gave me the courage to jump off of cliffs. It put a lot of things into perspective when it came to relationships and matters of the heart, and reintroduced sympathy into my understanding. It helped me let a lot of destructive things go. And now, I'll never settle.
Ta, beautiful. My only regret now is that I lost a very potent muse.
