5.08.2010

Relationship Theories: Why Jumpoffs &/ Friends With Benefits...

always want to change shit, decide to end shit -- or most famously, end up 'falling in love':

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"...Equity, also known as distributive justice. The key idea is that a person's profits should be proportional to his or her contributions.

Equity theory has four basic assumptions:
1. In a relationship or group, individuals try to maximize their outcomes.

...

3. When individuals perceive that a relationship is inequitable, they feel distressed. The greater the inequity, the greater the distress experienced.

4. Individuals who perceive inequity will take steps to restore equity.
"

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It's all about restoring equity. The reason why this is harder to generalize past that basic point, is that what an individual considers unequal will vary based on his or her personal history. Sometimes it's as simple as power, sometimes it's a tangible reciprocation; sometimes they don't know, and they just feel growing seeds of distress.

Theory - Branched:
'Falling in love' with the one that gives you less, or wanting to change the terms of the situation initially agreed upon, is a psychological (and rarely intentional or recognized) attempt to restore equity. The less the partner gives, the more determined one may become to reclaim.
[could this explain much of the Kryptonites in this world?]

**

Many relationship.vs.situation theories sprouting, but at the moment - will place my bookmark here.

Be conscious of what your partner considers fair. Learn them.
Then, you either work to provide that balance, or, you simply don't.
That alone can decide the success of your relationship.


"Situations"... are physical couplings where that kind of consideration is rendered unnecessary. "Nice and Easy," we once believe.

Hence, why it is inevitable that one party will eventually feel like there is an inequity, that they are giving more than they receive, and eventually attempt to ease that perception of inequity.

Or, they can't quite place what they aren't receiving, so instead they decide to fall in love. And change the game.

Silly humans.